Personal vows are often the highlight of a wedding ceremony and always an extraordinary and emotional moment. While there are thousands of templates available online for wedding vows where you only need to insert your name, none of these pre-written vows make your ceremony as personal and unique as self-written vows that come from your heart and summarize what you want to say on this day in your own words.
Many couples initially feel overwhelmed and don’t know how to start writing their vows. In this blog post, we provide you with tips on how to write your own wedding vows.
Discuss what you envision for your personal wedding vows.
Before you start writing your wedding vows, discuss whether you want to say similar vows or something completely different.
Some couples write their vows together and give each other the same promises, while others write freely what they want without coordinating with each other. Another option is to agree on the length beforehand, for example, using between 800-1200 words, or having the spoken vows last 3-5 minutes.
Always remember that there are no rules for your wedding you must follow, and indeed, there is no right or wrong way to write wedding vows. You can write and design your vows just as you want and as it suits you. Whether it is just one sentence or a small book with which you wish to seal your love on your wedding day, do what feels right for you!
Take notes and collect ideas for writing your wedding vows.
Once you know that you want to write personal wedding vows, start collecting ideas and taking notes whenever something interesting comes to mind. These can be little things that catch your attention, like the goodbye kiss you get every day before going to work that makes you happy, songs or poems that remind you of your relationship, or the memory of a beautiful shared moment.
Seek inspiration.
If you don’t yet have an idea how to write your own wedding vows, it’s helpful to get inspired beforehand. You can do this, for example, by reading through some wedding vows online or listening to wedding videos on YouTube. But you can also be inspired by different things, such as a love song or poems.
Reflect on what you have experienced together.
I’m sure you have experienced a lot together before you reached this point shortly before your wedding. Are there moments that have touched you particularly, and that you like to think back to, or that have made your relationship grow?
For example:
- when you first met
- your first kiss
- a trip together
- the engagement
- a difficult time where you were there for each other
- the birth of your children
- moving into your home
You can talk about these special moments in your life in your wedding vows and about how much they mean to you.
For example:
- I still remember when you stood on the beach in a red dress during our first trip together, and I imagined marrying you for the first time.
- We have experienced so many memorable moments together: the birth of our children, moving into our house, and the romantic proposal in our favorite restaurant. I can’t wait to create more memories with you until the end of our lives.
- Do you remember when we kissed for the first time at that party – who would have thought then that we would be standing here on our wedding three years later?
What makes your partner unique to you?
Think about what things, qualities, or special attitudes you particularly love about each other. Be personal and creative; it doesn’t matter how big or small things come to your mind here. They can be meaningful, like common goals you have achieved together, or funny inside jokes, like one of you always leaving the last piece of cake for the other.
For example:
- I love that you always make me laugh.
- I love that I can always steal the last French fry from your plate.
- I love that we always support each other in achieving our goals, no matter how crazy our dreams are.
Write about goals or make promises for your future together.
With your wedding, you decide to spend your life together and to stay together forever. Therefore, it is evident that most couples make promises for the future in their wedding vows.
These can be very classic promises like, for example:
- I will love, honor, and cherish you until the end of our lives.
- I want to be there for you in good times and bad.
- I want to laugh, cry, and dream with you…
Promises for a future together:
- With you, I want to start a family, build a home, and wake up next to you every day.
- I promise to make time for you every day until we are old and grey and sit in rocking chairs solving Sudoku puzzles together.
- I look forward to the day when we have a house by the lake, adopt fifteen dogs, and harvest the vegetables from our garden together.
Very personal promises that reflect your relationship, for example:
- I will always support you in implementing your crazy ideas.
- I encourage you to leave your comfort zone and experience new adventures.
- I never want to stop traveling the world with you…
Or a funny promise that makes you laugh:
- I will never watch an episode of our shared series alone.
- I promise always to have a chocolate bar with me in case you get spontaneous cravings.
- I will also laugh at the 1000th cat video you will show me on TikTok…
Say: I love you.
This point may sound logical to many, but remember how special and touching these words can be. Often, this short sentence is also a perfect start to your wedding vows or an emotional highlight at the end.
Read your wedding vows out loud.
Once you have finished writing your text, read it out loud. This way, you will notice if some things sound strange. If you are unsure, you can also read the wedding vows to someone you trust (for example, the best man) and get a second opinion. But I am sure that if you speak your wedding vows out loud and imagine yourself reading them on your wedding day, you will feel exactly whether they fit or if you want to change something. It’s also a good idea to read the wedding vows a few times beforehand so that you are sure on your wedding day and don’t stutter too much.
Now that you know how to write your own wedding vows. Remember you don’t have to read your wedding vows out loud to all guests!
If you want to write personal wedding vows but don’t like the idea of reading them aloud to all guests, then think of something else.
Here are some ideas on how to incorporate wedding vows privately into your wedding without reading them aloud to all guests:
Read your vows privately, just the two of you.
Take a moment just for yourselves, find a beautiful spot, and privately read your wedding vows to each other. This can be on your wedding day just before the ceremony, in the evening, at sunset, or even on another day. For example, we hiked to a mountain peak the day before our wedding to give each other the wedding vows at sunrise and had a wedding ceremony with all our guests the next day.
Write your wedding vows on a letter and read it quietly
During the ceremony, you can silently read each other’s wedding vows. This moment is just for you, and your guests can also perceive the unique atmosphere without hearing the words themselves.
Another option is to give each other this letter in the morning and read it all alone before the hustle and bustle of the wedding day starts.
Whisper your wedding vows to each other.
Whisper your wedding vows to each other so that no one else can hear them.
Whether at big weddings with many guests or an elopement for two, we recommend writing your own wedding vows from the bottom of our hearts. The moment you say these personal words to each other on your wedding day is always so special and emotional. We are sure you will remember this moment for a lifetime.
